Full Disclosure: I have never played Zup! 1 or 2, nor will I ever play Zup! 1 or 2. I will likely play Zup 4 though. 

20170201-ZUP3-2
Zup! 3 – Stop Sign?

Basically, there’s gravity and you blow stuff up. Or around. Or down. Move the ball with the yellow blocks and then get the ball on the green thing. Then you can click on the door to go to the next level. That’s about it for Quiet River‘s Zup! 3, and that’s kinda all it needs to be, honestly. I wanted something mind numbing for an hour or two of not-so-quiet Twitch contemplation and that’s what I got. Worth the price for recovering sanity from Level 8 of Thumper.

Why do you have to put the ring on the fourth stage of the Level 8 boss? Complete dick move, Drool.

I digress. Although this is physics based, the play is not as loose as other similar games. Doing the same thing over and over again generally gives the same results with only minor variation. This tends to lead itself to two types of levels, ones where you have to pull off a finely timed series of maneuvers to get to the goal, and ones where you press one button and watch a whole/partial automatic-Mario-esque level play out. Honestly, this game is about 50/50. When you hit a really well designed level it really feels great, you sit back looking at the board feeling accomplished. The rest are like “Oh, well, that was kinda cool, I guess. I hope I can press a button on the next level.” In all there are 77 levels, including the ones where you don’t really do anything. For like a buck though, I’m cool with that.

The Level Select Board
Zup! 3 – Level Select

 

There are a few weird things about the game. Each level is pretty weird because everything you do gets you 6-15 achievements every time you do it. Like, start a level – 6 achievements. Finish a level – 6 achievements. Touch anything – 12 achievements. I’m not making this up, the game has like 1708 achievements in it, and currently the lowest rate of completion for any of them is 55.3%. I’d like to think it’s a statement on the achievement system, but maybe the developers just like fucking around with people.

If that’s the case, two can play that game Mr. Quiet River. Oh, you just wait until I’m really bored one day.

Also, you may notice that there’s like this random Chinese in the middle of the level select screen*. Looks like a traditional saying (Lit. Again Buy Sever Hand), but no dictionary popped it up. I ended up finding it on a website for Koreans to learn Chinese. If the Korean is correct, the above means something like “Do it again and your hands will be cut off.” It seems like something you say to a chronic gambler who claims to have a system.

So… in the current context… this means what exactly? That this game is going to come and kick my ass for finishing it? Does it not want me to buy Zup! 4? I’m really confused. Let’s just say that the game doesn’t want me to buy Zup! 4.

No worries dudes. Forget what I said in the disclosure. I got your backs.

 

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