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Mana Spark – Freeview

FREEview:  Mana Spark

FREEview is our weekly review of totally free shit.  All honey, no money!

Lemme get this off my chest real quick:  I love rogue-likes.  It was the 199something Chocobo’s Dungeon 2 that cursed me to forever heed that genre’s call.  Probably more of a siren song really.  So basically I love to go down into a dungeon, get stuff, and try not to die.  That’s it for the most part.  Well that and the procedurally generated levels and the constant threat permadeath are the basic rules to being a rogue-like.  They are also the basic rules to me loving your game.  Enter Mana Spark.

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looks scary!

Mana Spark certainly has a little bit of that rogue-like nonsense:  procedurally generated levels, random enemies, varied loot drops, and most importantly permadeath.  Some plays will be easy.  Others won’t.  It is the luck of the draw, the roll of the dice, the shoot of the crap scenario.  That is where your skills and patience come in.  Get dealt a shitty hand and you’ll become a better player for it!  The game won’t play easy on you either.  It will be tough and you will die my.  Hopefully you’ll walk away stronger for it.  There is always next time!

Even if it is difficult, you will get better.  Every trip down into the depths leaves you feeling like you learned a little more.  Every new enemy you encounter has a different strategy.  Every item effects you differently.  So when you finally, inevitably do die, you’ll bring back little more knowledge of this dark and mysterious world.  Let’s get to the nitty gritty my friend.

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You’re this little cutie archer with a great sense of fashion: a wicked scarf and a sexy bow.  He is probably a tween but who’s to say!  Now throw that little sprite boy in a beautifully animated 16-bit(ish) top down environment with unlimited arrows and an increasingly difficult enemies on four evil floors.  Slam in a store between each floor for good measure and now you got a game.  Kill the enemies in hopes they drop cash.  Use the cash to buy items in the three stores.  Fight a boss on the final floor!  BOOM.

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That wolf is fucking cute yo.

Now I’d love to go into greater detail here but I really shouldn’t.  These Brazilian developers known as Behemutt were kind enough to release Mana Spark as an early access build.  The game ain’t done yet!  I can’t wait for more of it.  At this point I have probably beaten it ten times.  I’ve nearly mastered it but not quite because that is next to impossible!  That is the best part of the game too:  you can’t master something that changes constantly.  You will die.

Get it on PC / MAC / Linux here!

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Super Crate Box – FREEview

FREEview:  Super Crate Box

FREEview is our weekly review of totally free shit.  All honey, no money!

logos rule

It is stupidly hard to review a game you can’t stop playing.  I boot it up and promise to only play for five more minutes.  I have a review to write after all!  Two fucking hours later, I haven’t written shit.  Not a stupid useless word.  Fuck this game for being so dang good.  But let’s just slow down here for a minute.  What in god’s name is Super Crate Box?

Single Screen Rogue-like Platform Shooter?

So those were a lot of words but I’m sticking with them.  Imagine the old original Mario Bros.  You know the one before it was called SUPER.  Yeah that one.  Single screen and tons of shit comes flooding in from the top.  And just like in Mario Bros, the enemies don’t even care about killing you.  They just want to get to the bottom of the screen.  Except for the damn ghosts… oh fuck those are in both games!  Starting to see some patterns here.
Fuck this ghost too yo

Look at these dumb ass ghosts.

Fuck Boo

Rogue-like might be a bit of stretch but lemme try it anyway ya lousy ingrate:  Randomly spawning enemies attack you while you pick up have random boxes with random weapons in them.  Then you die  You lose everything and have to start right the fuck over.  Oh goddamn it is a rogue-like.  Every time you play and kill more shit, you get access to more levels, weapons, characters and modes but only after you die.  YOU MUST DIE.

Seriously.

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Wait just a goddamn minute, I don’t need to review a game from 2010.  I’m done, so go and download it right the fuck here.  Man, why didn’t somebody tell me this thing was released back then?  Thanks for nothing jerkass!  Well, enough of this “reviewing” and back to the game.  Seriously I have died like over 1000 times at least.  It is just that good.  Thanks a ton my homies at Vlambeer for making a great lil thingy.