Neverend – This Game Pisses Me Off

Full Disclosure: I bought this game for like $1.60, and I played the fuck out of it. Don’t know the dudes who made it. Don’t know anything else about it.


Neverend - Title Screen
Neverend – Title Screen

First off, right out the gate, I’m going to tell you why this game pisses me off. Right the frick off. The game itself is fun, it’s a simple Rogue-like that has fairly good controls, interesting character and enemy style, and decent music. And it’s on sale on Steam for an introductory 1.59 before jumping up to the full price of what I assume to be 1.99. Like 2 bucks.

How the hell am I going to release my piece of shit game if stuff that’s pretty decent goes on sale for 2 bucks? Hey, Duck Devs, leave something for the rest of us will, ya? Seriously, what am I supposed to sell my crap for like 50 cents now? Who does that? Is that even possible? I just threw my whole marketing strategy (admittedly, just a coffee-stained notebook and a few pens) out the window.

I bet they’re probably donating everything to charity or something as well, too. Typical.

Thanks a lot Duck Devs. Thevs. Thobama.

Okay, but seriously, onto the review. The quality/price ratio being waaaay too high pissing me off aside, the game delivers a decent explorative experience. The game is hard, but not so hard I want to throw everything else out the window as well. In the hour or so I played it, I died a lot, but every time I respawned I did a little bit better. That’s not to say that you restart with any sort of advantage, because you start right from the beginning every single time, but knowing what to do in certain types of rooms and how to kite enemies around helps a lot.

Neverend - Weird Spider Hive
Neverend – Weird Spider Hive


Every time you die you restart from the very beginning, which means you get stuck with this stick that they try to call a weapon for the first 5-10 rooms of every run. I mean, it’s fine enough I guess, but it has terrible range, and I most of the times I died were from not being close enough to kill and enemy when I thought I was going to. I mean, I know that the dude here isn’t a big dude, but I think he could use a longer stick without any problems. And don’t give me any of those “it’s all how you use it jokes” because that’s only like 50% true and you all know it.

If you can last a bit, the game opens up a lot more. You start with two potions that help keep you alive for just a bit longer, and your experience amounts to gold which can be spent in the shops for better weapons, a fishing rod, or some more potions to keep you alive for just a wee bit more than just a bit longer. If you can use these to survive 10+ rooms or so, eventually you’ll encounter some sort of kill quest, but I haven’t been able to complete one to tell you what’s going to happen if you do, mostly because my stick isn’t long enough. I bet something probably amazing happens knowing the 2-dollar-price-setting-bastards who made this. Like Princess-Leia-awarding-you-a-medal-of-honour-while-wearing-that-Jabba-bikini-awesome. There are also shops, places to buy a mount, and a few rooms I haven’t quite figured out yet.

Neverend - Get used to seeing this.
Neverend – Get used to seeing this.

Aside from the stick length, I’d say the only other downside would be a lack of variety. Maybe that’s just me though. I wished there was more variation in the type of rooms available, other than a few features changing from room to room. Maybe a little less Zelda 1, and a little more, Zelda: Link to the Past? Also, having some benefit from playing previous runs would have been nice as well.

But yeah, aside from having to completely rethink my stance on making garbage games and selling them for 2 bucks (Damn you Duck Devs… uhh… Dobama… Devs.), this game is worth a couple of play throughs.