Figment – Your Dad’s Dead

Full Disclosure: I bought this game like a pleb. Worth it.

This game was one of the highlights of BitSummit 2017. Getting pissed drunk on the river and listening to Scandinavian metal for a bit with one of the developers of this game was also a highlight. I don’t remember much else, but I looked at my watch and it was like 3am, and I couldn’t count that high, so must have been a good night.


Figment – Dusty and Piper


Figment is about this Jingle looking dude called Dusty, and his Navi-like just-barely-not-annoying sidekick, Piper, who live in the mind of a boring father Ima call Stan who just got into a car wreck. No really.

I almost called him Doug, but I didn’t want to be that mean. The developers seem pretty nice.

The Mind, as they call it, seems to be a pretty peaceful place, perhaps too peaceful to Dusty who likes to look at his scrapbook, drink, and wish that Stan would do something cool for once in his life.

It’s like this guy is inside of me. I should go do something cool. Are pogs still a thing?

Well, he gets that chance, when Stan wrecks the car his ass and his family are driving in, and then probably ends up in a coma, or maybe caught in super slow motion and black-and-white on the side of the road. This trauma messes up The Mind, causing these pretty cool looking baddies to come and get all up in Dusty’s grill.

They’re pretty on point, too. I mean, you’re not supposed to look at the villain, and be like “Dayum, you right on target,” but here’s the most real piece of dialogue I’ve seen so far in the game.


Figment – Real


Like this guy should be posting for Nihilist Arby’s. I mean look at this Twitter gold.



It’s a match. A perfect match. Not that that matters or anything at all ever. And this boss is just killing time until the inevitable end. (Am I cool yet?)

Whatever. So yeah you’re chasing dudes, through this beautifully hand painted Toe Jam & Earlscape, picking up some things here and there and doing some minor modification to your surroundings to get where you need to go. Beautiful doesn’t really cover it. Everything is super vibrant and really pops out at you in a way that’s informative and not obnoxious. Just wandering around is pretty fun. You can’t really wander that far, but everything is nice to look at.

Then you hit a boss.

And the boss music is straight up metal. Which, I shouldn’t have to say this, is amazing. Like seriously, I’m using metal in all of my boss fights from now on. Straight up. Also, the nihilist boss with the extra arms you encounter first totally sounds like Skwisgaar Skwigelf. I mean I know these guys are Danish, but I don’t know, maybe metal has that sort of sound. The boss doesn’t actually sing or play instruments during the battle, but it’s still cool enough. At least I don’t think he sings, I mean there is a vocal track. I should listen to it again. The boss singing metal as you fight him would be frickin’ cool.


Figment – Getting Some Ice.


On that note, I’m going to get me a drink myself. Dusty loses his martini during the first few minutes and has to hunt down this ice machine. Me? I’m going 3 paces to the fridge. It’s still a worthy puzzle. No? Meh.

Your stuggle is pointless. Everything is.

(Nah, everything’s cool. I use the Internet and sometimes play video games for a living. How could that be bad?)

Blog (Pre-Medium)

BitSummit 2017 – Best or Bestest?

Holy crap it’s been a hell of a week. Work’s been blowing up, it looks like North Korea wants to blow up the world like just a little bit more now, and oh yeah, and BitSummit happened! The Burpy Crew (TM?) just got back from Kyoto, and boy are our thumbs tired! Hahaha! I kid, I kid. That’s just arthritis. #old


Parappa is fricking hard with this mess.
Yes, that controller actually works.


Though this year’s event was held in the smaller first floor space at Kyoto’s massive Miyako Messe, it was packed to the gills with an almost unfathomable amount of electronic resplendence that, in a different time, would have been wrapped in gold, silk, and maybe myrrh, and presented to the richest merchants and royalty visiting from the lands around.

But, no one gives a shit about royalty anymore and the richest merchants now have cocaine, so we get all the goodness to ourselves. And there was a lot of it. Too much to cover in just two days. The bar was set really high this year, in fact I can’t remember any title that I didn’t think was quality.

Here’s what I liked the best.


Galak-Z Cosplay. On point.


GALAK-Z – Super polished transformation shooter gets a suitable VR finish. In VR, you act as the captain on a stage. Currently the stage is still being implemented but having menus being ever present, but just off to the side seems way way more streamlined to me. It’s kinda like how the Enterprise stage was set up so that the captain could always turn to a certain set direction to get a certain type of information. I’m not sure if this is exactly the direction they’re going to go with this, but I’m excited to see what comes out.

Figment – This gorgeous puzzle game reminds me of Toe Jam & Earl, but if Toe Jam & Earl was actually a good game and had a great art style. You’re this Tingle-looking dude and you wander around putting things in things to make the most fantastical contraptions YOU’VE EVER SEEN IN YOUR LIFE do your bidding in the most abstract puzzle-adventury way. Magical.


Line Wobbler – Two player 1-D fun!


Line Wobbler – Billed as the 1-D RPG, this installation piece is actually two copies of the same game. You’re a green dot, and you have to take out all of the red and pink dots to win. Wobble the stick to produce a deadly yellow attack! It’s surprisingly fun for a string of multicoloured lights. I got into it. There are about 10 levels but I’d like to see a bit of an extension…maybe to 1.5D?



Paper Garden – If anyone knows how to do VR, it’s Vitei Backroom. Holy crap they’re amazing. They’re back this year with a new beautiful prototype based on throwing magical paper planes to hit special targets hidden through a magical garden. Basically, the game feels like throwing darts that you have a lot more control over. Many VR games feel restricted because… well.. it’s really hard to traverse terrain when you’re tired to a bunch of wires that are tied to your console and probably a TV that you don’t want to see on the ground. VB has solved the VR translation movement problem by setting teleport points around the world that you can access by throwing planes to them in a way that still feels immersive. If I were to have one complaint it would be that I kept punching myself in the balls trying to grab the planes floating around me. That might be conceived as a benefit to future generations though.


I.F.O. by Total Battery


I.F.O. – Burpy Fresh loves some Total Battery. We always love some Total Battery. We always will love some Total Battery

Pawarumi – A shooter that is so fresh, so clean. It’s amazing to look at. I got killed super quick, but I suck at these types of games.

And of course, all of these favourites from previous BitSummits and BICFests etc, Arena Gods, Read Only Memories: 2064 (Now in Japanese!), and Megacopter: Blades of the Goddess.

Finally, I want to say Nidhogg 2, which everyone said was there but for some reason I couldn’t find. I looked for TWO DAYS for that thing, so if it was there, I’m a fucking idiot. If not, I got punked by like 10 people.

Gah. So many good games. So much inspiration to make an actual good game. Speaking of, that’s what I’m going to do now. Until next year BitSummit!