Snakebird – Still Solid

Full Disclosure: I’m still a fucking pleb paying full price for games. I mean, intellectually, I know I’ve nothing to deserve free games, but I still feel like I should be getting them somehow? #NorthAmerican #WhiteMale #EvenStillIWantFreeGames


Submarine Snakebirds!
Submarine Snakebirds!


Snakebird is quite possibly the most adorable puzzle game I’ve ever played.*  Bright colours, adorable birds that react to the environment around them with such a wide range of expression, and sublime music all come all come together to create a memorable experience that almost masks the sheer frustration and torment you’ll face at every stage as you juggle two to four birds in a graceful and delicate dish spin, only to have everything come crashing down on you with less than a moment’s notice.

Yeah, I couldn’t make it a paragraph just talking about how well polished it looks. This game is crazy hard. To the developers’ credit, it never feels unfair, the difficulty is purely due to your (my) inability to recognize the pattern in a situation. There is a curve, from easy to moderate, to throwing a Molotov while screaming “Hahaha, good luck bastards!” and I seem to have been caught off guard for the last bit.

So yeah… I’m still stuck on level 7… out of like 80, like a year later. Which is kinda why I’m writing about it now. I still like the game. When one of he birds is stuck up against the wall or itself it still makes me smile. Mostly because I want someone or something else to feel the pain that I’ve felt, but also because it’s totes adorbs. Mostly because it’s totes adorbs. Honest. I mean look at this.


Ahh, bless him/her.
Ahh, bless him/her/it. And, also screw him/her/it.

See? It’s so cute and also so painfully obvious that ol’ Reddy only has a few seconds of oxygen left to live. Schadenfreude much? Yes. Yes, indeed. Maybe if I could get past level 7, I’d feel better for him/her/it.

And don’t you go thinking that that Undo button is going to help you. It’s fool’s gold. You’re on your own here. It’s you and your raw Snakebird machismo/a.

Right, so mechanics. Snakebird is a game about eating fruit to grow longer, which is both a blessing and a curse. Being longer means it can stretch out further from the land, and it have more room for other Snakebirds to rest and move about, but it also means it has more body to get in the way of junk. Like, in the image above. When you have multiple birds, it means you can use them to crawl all up and over each other’s mix, slowly boosting each other to victory.

All them levels I'll never get to see...
All them levels I’ll never get to see…

Sounds simple right? You try it. You see if you can get past level 7 in like less than an hour. And if you can, you come here and message me, and make me feel bad, and make me have to play it more so I get a divorce and lose custody of my 18 nonexistent kids. Great. Glad we’ve established that you’re a dick and my love life is in shambles.

Uh… what was I on about? Snakebird is good. Go play it. Yeah. That’s all.